The Condition of My Soul:

     A few months ago in men's small group, I was asked to draw the condition of my soul.  The first thing I thought of was a coronary artery; coronary arteries supply blood to the heart.  Blood represents God; it carries nutrients, oxygen, and white blood cells to name a few things.  In the same way, God nourishes us, gives us life, and heals us.  At the time, I was going through a low point in my life.  My coronary arteries were hardened; I had atherosclerosis of the soul.  Prevention of atherosclerosis depends on 2 major factors: exercise and nutrition.  We must exercise our faith by living a life that is righteous.  We have the free will to do anything we want; God never forces us to be righteous, yet it's something we naturally desire the more we know him.  Athiests ask me "does that make Christians 'better' than non-christians?"..."Christians are so full of themselves".  There is a misconception; we don't live righteously b/c we think it'll make us "better" than other people.  We live righteously when we have witnessed the glory and mercy of God.  As well, our motive is obedience and love as opposed to working our way into heaven, or being better than others.  Sometimes I wonder where people get the idea that Christians are conceited when the whole basis for our belief stems from humility.  An analogy could be drawn to when you're early on in a relationship.  At that moment you care about that person so much that you want to please them in any way possible.  You spend as much time with them as possible.  You become inspired the more you know the person and you reevaluate how you live your life.  In the same way, the closer we get to God, the more we are inspired to live a life that's pleasing to him.  Anyway, I may have went off on a tangent, but that was something I wanted to say.  As for nutrition, I see it as prayer, Bible reading, devotions, and anything else that draws us closer to God.  I had stopped going to church for a year, stopped reading my Bible, and even stopped praying.  I could feel the 'hypoxia' but I couldn't pinpoint the cause because I had cut myself off from God.  Anyway, the reason for writing this is I want to say that I'm on the road to recovery.  If we ever have a similar activity at guys group I would draw a more healthy blood vessel.  Praise the Lord for giving me a fellowship where I can be nurtured back into health.  When I'm strong enough again it'll inspire me to run the race even harder....it'll make me train harder.  I think these last few years have taught me what it means to rejoice in suffering, because you only get stronger in the end.